Once upon a time I wrote religiously in my journals. The past few years I have stopped, not really sure why, maybe just done trying to figure things out through words. Well, for some reason I grabbed an old journal thinking it was a newer sketchbook and sat down to doodle before bed. I opened the black book and saw all of my old words lined up neatly and begging to be read so I decided to revisit the old Jessica and the strange fruit that her mind once bore.
I had a good laugh.
I honestly don't know what was going on half of the time because I wrote so vaguely but I found some little snippets that made me laugh at myself and wanted to give them a second life.
Here are a few of them.
Aug 18 2005: "We just don't want to face the reality that things might actually suck. What if all the pessimists are right?"
Feb 1 2005: "I am tired of myself again, I think I'll take a nap."
Feb 2 2005: "My Gratitude list:
-eating snacks alone so I can chew as loud as I please.
-the lack of air as I open a package of freshly processed film.
-finding the guts to do something scary.
-the humility that is bestowed upon me every time I misspell a word.
-a nearly completed journal and knowing that inside a book there are thousands of my thought and experiences recorded. "
Oct 4 2004: "I was having this dream, there was a tree, not a real tree but one my mind drew, its branches were long and bare, they grew and swivelled like octopus tentacles. The black spine swayed in my dream and when I woke up my foot was hanging off the bed imitating the motion of the tree."
Sep 12 2004: "This was something worth getting hurt over."
There ya go, a little bit of nothing to add to nothings on the internet.