Tag

Amy tagged me for a list of gratitude, one thing for each letter of my name...

J- jet blue, so I can visit my friends and family and explore.
E- enlightenment, I love being touched and enlightened by others, I love that we are able to grow and learn and there is no end...
S- sight, cause I love art and seeing cutie-pants things like puppies and babies
S- sanity, may it always be by my side.
I- i don't know, lots and lots of things.
C- courage, i am fighting to find some for myself.
A- ate, i know that is a cheat, but i love to eat, therefore I love that I ate??? Okay, i love food, sue me.

Now I will tag.......
get ready for it.....
Everyone who reads this cause it's good for the heart to be thankful.

Saturday morning. There is something special about Saturday mornings, I can't quite put my finger on it. I really love the top image of Mel, I feel it is honest.

It was Mel's birthday this weekend.
We had a little party last night and I'll post those images some other time because it's 2am and I have a million things to do tomorrow morning before I leave to CA for Thanksgiving.
Man, it has been a truly rough week for me. I've been stressed for various reasons, the biggest was the loss of my job which spiraled into becoming sick, irritated and moody. Poor Max is getting the butt end of this all, I have been short with him because he has been annoying the crap out of me and all I have the energy to do is get mad at him and yet the sweetheart is still by my side (literally as I type these words he is asleep with his head on my lap)... what a beautiful creature... to be neglected, yelled at, and mis-understood by his owner and all he wants to do, time and time again is to give and receive love.
I hope and pray that this weekend away with the family will be energizing and not draining. I can't wait to be with my 3 little besties all at once. I can't believe how much love I have for them, how blessed I am.
Well, although things have been difficult and I feel like a chapter in my life has closed much sooner than I would have liked I feel like this is a time for growth. Life can be difficult, confusing, unfair, lonely and hurtful but the one thing that keeps me going is HOPE. I am not yet sure what I should be learning from all of this but I feel like it will be worth it in the end.

I guess I am back to my late-night self now that I don't have a 9 to 5. To be honest I love this time of night. I feel like the rest of the world around me is asleep and I am alone with my thoughts which have lost its evil and constricting censor. I find my ideas at this time of night brilliant and free of normalcy but sadly when I wake the next day and reflect on the previous evenings thoughts I find them to be quite silly and dull. I wonder what it is that makes all of this so magical at night. Even now I feel like I have connected with some deeper chamber inside myself and feel enlightened to be in its presence, but when I read this in the morning I will most likely be embarrassed and want to erase it all and write some funny bit in its place. We will see.

the lizard

Lizard came for a visit this weekend. I was lucky to have her here for me. She is a truly honest soul and friend. I love this girl and all her funny, sweet quirks.
Friday afternoon we decided it was about time for her to get her ears pierced. She did so good we went for cookies after.

"I write down lists"

These are some images I like. Just wanted to share them with ya.

I used to write down lists. Lists of random topics from favorites to fears. I want to start writing down lists again. Maybe not here but in my books.
Well, just one for here.

Since I am listing to music I will write down a little list of music.

Most played on my iTunes play list.
Songs:
1. How will you love me
2. Counting up your bones
3. Why don't you stay home
4. I come after you
5. Our day trip
All from Nina Nastasia. I won't say how many times they have played cause it's kind of embarrassing.

Of the top 10 artist played, 8 are female and then there is Elliot Smith and The Decemberists.

Peace.

Purged of everything.
i'm done for a while.
just pretty pictures and shallow words.

I was "laid off" this morning.



I am going to be okay. On to new adventures, a open path of possibilities. I've been cut down but now I can grow as a new person.

A few months ago we shot a fawn for work, I guess I should say "photographed" a fawn.
I posted about it then but I felt I needed to do it again. I absolutely love animals. I feel closer to God at the mere sight of one (sorry Katherine for mentioning God in my blog) but I really do. It was amazing to be so close to such a wild animal as if it were a mere domesticated dog, she even liked having her ears rubbed. My boyfriend Chris has stated multiple times that he thinks my "obsession" or love for animals is weird, he says there is no reciprocity in caring for something that will never develop into something useful to society. But countless times I have felt immensely blessed from the connection to an animal. I remember a time when I was a little girl and was feeling lonely, I sat in my room with my cat Screamer and told him he always there for me... (I hate to say once I grew into a teenager I stopped paying attention to him until the day he died... dirty, alone and half blind). I don't know why I am writing about this, I feel like the crazy cat lady.
Well, all I am saying is that the fawn shoot was fun and I like animals a lil' bit.

Come if you want. Bring anyone who you think would be interested.

Genius!

My nephew Oliver drew a self-portrait the other week in church.
I hate to brag but this little boy deserves to be bragged about pretty much all day long. What 3 year old has the skills and brain to draw so damn perfectly, just look at that composition, it looks just like him.
He is amazing. I love him too much if that is possible.

I don't feel like a photographer.
I was surfing the web peering into peoples lives (blogs) and I found this beautiful work by a 20 year old girl in LA, I saw in her work what I wanted from myself. I was jealous.
I don't feel like a photographer. Maybe it's from an emotionally challenging week and being scared to pick up a camera because of being told I am mediocre. Mediocre isn't a word I like being associated with something I have been working so hard on.
I need an artist date, to just go shoot, raw and naked, no censorship no rules.

Anyway, I have meant to post these images from a show I had ages ago. It was unsuccessful but worth the time I put into it. I have enormous prints at my place if anyone wants to buy em.

Will the truth set you free?

I sure hope so.

I am learning no matter what is in your heart and no matter how passionately you speak the truth it can be easily swept away by winds of deceit, beauty and a professional presentation.
Whether or not this situation is all truly one big misunderstanding I am disappointed in not only myself for my childish slander and lack of forgiveness but for those who are numb to compassion.

Today sucks but I guess it is nice to step in crap every once in a while so you are forced to clean your feet and pay attention to the path your on.
(classy analogy eh?)

I got this email this morning, i thought it was interesting.



hey guys...a lot of hate and false info floating around on the internet these days about prop 8. I would encourage you to read these facts and cut and paste them into various blogs and sites to spread the truth.

Sean



1. Mormons make up less than 2% of the population of California. There are approximately 800,000 LDS out of a total population of approximately 34 million.

2. Mormon voters were less than 5% of the yes vote. If one estimates that 250,000 LDS are registered voters (the rest being children), then LDS voters made up 4.6% of the Yes vote and 2.4% of the total Proposition 8 vote.

3. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) donated no money to the Yes on 8 campaign. Individual members of the Church were encouraged to support the Yes on 8 efforts and, exercising their constitutional right to free speech, donated whatever they felt like donating.

4. The No on 8 campaign raised more money than the Yes on 8 campaign. Unofficial estimates put No on 8 at $38 million and Yes on 8 at $32 million, making it the most expensive non-presidential election in the country.

5. Advertising messages for the Yes on 8 campaign are based on case law and real-life situations. The No on 8 supporters have insisted that the Yes on 8 messaging is based on lies. Every Yes on 8 claim is supported.

6. The majority of our friends and neighbors voted Yes on 8. Los Angeles County voted in favor of Yes on 8. Ventura County voted in favor of Yes on 8. (I will add San Bernadino, Riverside, San Diego and Orange County too- 3/4 of the counties)

7. African Americans overwhelmingly supported Yes on 8. Exit polls show that 70% of Black voters chose Yes on 8. This was interesting because the majority of these voters voted for President-elect Obama. No on 8 supporters had assumed that Obama voters would vote No on 8.

8. The majority of Latino voters voted Yes on 8. Exit polls show that the majority of Latinos supported Yes on 8 and cited religious beliefs (assumed to be primarily Catholic).

9. The Yes on 8 coalition was a broad spectrum of religious organizations. Catholics, Evangelicals, Protestants, Orthodox Jews, Muslims – all supported Yes on 8. It is estimated that there are 10 million Catholics and 10 million Protestants in California. Mormons were a tiny fraction of the population represented by Yes on 8 coalition members.

10. Not all Mormons voted in favor of Proposition 8. Our faith accords that each person be allowed to choose for him or her self. Church leaders have asked members to treat other members with "civility, respect and love," despite their differing views.

11. The Church did not violate the principal of separation of church and state. This principle is derived from the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, which reads, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof . . ." The phrase "separation of church and state", which does not appear in the Constitution itself, is generally traced to an 1802 letter by Thomas Jefferson, although it has since been quoted in several opinions handed down by the United States Supreme Court in recent years. The LDS Church is under no obligation to refrain from participating in the political process, to the extent permitted by law. U.S. election law is very clear that Churches may not endorse candidates, but may support issues. The Church has always been very careful on this matter and occasionally (not often) chooses to support causes that it feels to be of a moral nature.

12. Supporters of Proposition 8 did exactly what the Constitution provides for all citizens: they exercised their First Amendment rights to speak out on an issue that concerned them, make contributions to a cause that they support, and then vote in the regular electoral process. For the most part, this seems to have been done in an open, fair, and civil way. Opponents of 8 have accused supporters of being bigots, liars, and worse. The fact is, we simply did what Americans do – we spoke up, we campaigned, and we voted.

Welcome back Isaac!

mini mouse

I usually hate mice but this little girl grew on me.
She is now in a "happy meal" box on my desk and I don't know what to do with her. I feel bad.

It's almost the weekend but that doesn't mean a whole lot these days. Somethings not right.

I wanna take a vacation from myself for a while, is that possible?

Today

Was a relaxing shoot in the studio.
I am liking shooting in the studio more and more.
My passion for imagery had been growing like weeds and I'm going to go with it.








On a more personal note, I am really tired of selfish, self-centered people who think of nothing besides serving themselves and knocking down anyone who they see as a threat. I don't understand why we all wouldn't try to feed of off each other to grow and become better, I find it's the insecure and the ugly that are scared to lift others above themselves for fear of equality. Chris reminded me last night of the bitter pill I have been swallowing and I am trying to turn my cheek but I hate giving it to these people.... I am trying because I know I will be happier. WWJD!

Okay Jess.... 3 more weeks until Thanksgiving bre

so cute.
saturday we did a shoot at the academy of ballet in springville

It's been a busy day.

Aaron is a stud and I like markers now. I decided to switch it up a bit. What do ya think?







Did a little shoot in the park

Why is Natalie so beautiful?






I am tired
but it's the good kind of tired.
Hope all is well with you
Happy Halloween

Love
Jess

Take advantage of what surrounds you
I am trying to do this.

My dear friend Elna is in town visiting her family and I saw that her little brother had an awesome T-bird that was screaming to be photographed so I did what it asked and I am kinda loving the images more than I thought I could love images.

For the past 15 minutes I have been typing and erasing my thoughts. I hate when I edit myself too much. I guess I am not sure who reads this or what they expect to get from me. Do I really want to share my mini antics about what I am trying to get from life or how I make sense of the joy and pain I run through daily? I don't know. But it feels good to put something out there.

Todays Favorites:

Chris wearing kitty cat pajamas
Lunch with mom, I love when she laughs
The Diet Coke I will purchase when I leave work tonight
Being able to call the big spooner
The photos below, I feel blessed to be somewhere so beautiful and able to record it
My house is clean
Hearing both of my nephews voices on the phone. Oliver promised to paint me some art... I'm excited for it.

Okay

I need to go.