Oliver... / by Jessica Peterson

A Wonderful Distraction: My nephew Oliver was here for the past four days and I was able to play mommy with him during the daytime. We had some serious adventures, we went to "Fat Kitty-Cats" to bowl, there were 7 balls stuck in the gutter by the end of the game but he won. We stared at rotten animal carcases at the Bean Museum, we ate chicken nuggets, golfed at a run down mini-golf course while melting snow dripped on our heads through the roof, bought guns and shot suctioned-darts at the window until we tired of it. We drank apple juice from the box and munched on cookies while watching Disney movies, Oliver would laugh and then I would laugh because he was. Each evening I would start to count down the minutes when I could drop him off at my moms so I could have some time to myself but the second I did I began to miss him so bad it hurt.
Nick and Oliver drove home today. I will ignore that piece of reality for a bit longer.

So... I am getting closer to the edge of insanity. I hoped to have found my purpose by now but I feel more lost than I was a month and a half ago. Like today I had an epiphany I wanted to start my own business selling cutesy cupcakes and then remembered that yesterday I had an epiphany about becoming a children's book writer and the day before yesterday I wanted to open a dog shelter for unwanted puppies who would otherwise be put to sleep. I feel like because there are a million and one options and paths I could do anything, but because of that mindset I find myself at a stand still. Still wondering what to do... where to go and how to get there.

I am going to take a step soon. I promise. It will be scary and once I do I will need to put all of my energy into it until it becomes the "right" thing for me to be doing.