/  by Jessica Peterson


cutest.  church drawing with the kiddies a few months back











I am in no way an illustrator but I do love to draw.  For Christmas I was planning on making little illustrated books for my nephews and niece with  them as the characters in the book.  I sketched a few things but unfortunately I never got around to actually doing it.  I don't know that I ever will so I am just going to throw these on here so they don't rot in my sketch book.


You are what you eat. /  by Jessica Peterson

T and I went out for a nice dinner the other night with Papa JP.  It was one of the better meals I have had.  T ordered some sort of monster fish thing that scared me half to death so I made him turn the dish around before I could eat my food... You see, I don't eat animal meat. I eat hotdogs, I eat hamburgers and have pepperoni on my pizza, I eat chicken nuggets and tuna samiches but the difference between me and you is my "meat" comes from a plant rather than animal... At least this is what I tell myself.


After that dinner I went home and drew these in my journal.  I thought they were funny so I will share them.  Please excuse the quality of these images, I don't have photoshop at the moment.





Today is Monday /  by Jessica Peterson




Another good day.  Thanks to a friend I feel a bit better about things here. 
Around the corner from T's place is the most delightful paper store.  I love paper, I love to feel it, smell it and most of all look at it.  
Kate's Paperie... Overpriced? Yes.  But I needed to get some greeting cards for some friends back home.   Most of the cards are letterpress, so beautiful, what an art form.  sigh.
I found the greatest baby shower invites, they were designed to look like they were from the 50's,  muted colors and simple text.  I would have bought them if I was anywhere near to having a kid but if anyone want me to grab them for you lemme know, they were 50% off. 


My 3 Brothers /  by Jessica Peterson


I want to just share my thoughts and admiration for my best friends.  I have three older brothers, I can't imagine my life being nearly as great without their love and influence.  I am on the phone with at least one of them daily.  They are the first I call with good news or bad news and I can count on them for anything.  
  Nei, the eldest of the three is the owl, he is wisdom and logic, J3 is humor and compassion and T is balance and strength.  I love you, I love you, I love you.
I feel so cheesebally writing this but it is the truth, I love my brothers and I am grateful beyond measure to have them as my family.


1:30 AM /  by Jessica Peterson

Does admitting and accepting that you are socially awkward make you less awkward?  I sure hope so.  

I had a wonderful day.  Woke up, walked to the church, watched T baptize a beautiful girl.  Met with Carrie in a yum yum cafe and ate pumpkin waffles for lunch (I will say New York really does have the most amazing food)...mmmm.  Carrie and Erik came over, Carrie and I snuggled and napped on the couch, Erik and Travis played PS3.  I napped some more and met up with some girlies in Brooklyn at a hip bar where I felt very uncool while everyone around me was so cool and hip.  I ate tacos from a bus (delish), walked to Jen's place and watched 2 episodes of family guy.  I will admit Family Guy is one of my favorite show, it's crude and gross but it can make me laugh louder than anything else can. It was a good day. 
I'm back now.  Feet hurt.  Hungry again.  Always hungry.  

Well, I still feel like a directionless soul, I pray God will give me direction so I can plant my roots and get to work on living again.  Though being laid off really blew for a while I now have empathy and sympathy for all those who have lost their jobs,  this is something I wouldn't have been able to really understand.  I feel so blessed to have had a financial cushion, I can't imagine being one with a family to provide for. Keep those people in your prayers.  Let's hope that things will come back together sooner than later.  


I really miss maxie pad.  

Buying with my eyes /  by Jessica Peterson



Being in New York and not having any money can be a little heart breaking when you are someone like me who thinks everything is so adorably delightful.  I decided that whenever I see something I would like to have I will just take a picture of it, it's almost as good as physically owning it, maybe even better because it doesn't take up space.  
I found this amazing journal, I swear it was made just for me, I feel like another me somewhere out there made it.  It is a journal with different topics to make lists to, on each page there is a little illustration to go with the topics.  Oh man, I don't know how many lists I have written, it is almost some sort of addiction for me to pick a topic and beat it to death with a list.  My favorite lists have been:
1. essences of the people I love.  This includes all the things I feel and remember about the person, it's a raw way to explore why you love someone and why they are so unique to you.  no censor no seconding why you write what you wrote... but be careful, you might find there are people you don't like as much as you thought.
 
Lets do one right now... I choose....Diana Browning.

Diana Browning : Best friend, diet coke and fresca, blankets and cuddling, can say anything to her and I mean anything, trust her with my darkest secrets, knitting, home, max's adopted mom, comfort, missing, smells warm (weird but it makes sense in my head),homemade gifts, brownie mix late at night, wiped my bum when I was too sick to do it myself, scars on her knees, burps just like me.

2. Lists of memories and moments after a fun weekend or a visit from someone so I don't forget the small but so amazing interactions.  Sometime it is just a word, but the word will later trigger a memory I had almost lost.

3. What makes me... Happy, bored, etc

I recommend lists.  I recommend noticing.  I recommend recording.






/  by Jessica Peterson









I promise max doesn't have rabbis.  He just likes treats and happens to make funny faces when I toss them into his mouth.  

This was in Tucson, hence the warm weather and green grass. 

Dear Deer /  by Jessica Peterson

The night before I left i was in my office doing some work when I heard this loud crash outside my window.  I figured it was a car accident which is not an unusual thing to happen in front of my place.  I walked over to the window to see the damage and in my front yard there is this beautiful deer slowly walking across my yard.  She wasn't limping and I saw that as a good sign, maybe she wasn't hit, maybe she stepped in front of a car who then slammed it's breaks on causing the car behind them to hit bumpers, I wanted for that awful thump I heard to have been the metal from cars and not the body of that sweet deer.
Well, a bit later animal control knocked on my door, she was hit, she walked to the backyard, curled up under a tree and died.  I wanted to cry, my heart was sick.  I felt so horrible.  I feel horrible.  Poor deer... know you were loved.

It's 3:15 am /  by Jessica Peterson

I took the red-eye to New York last night, I slept most of the day and now it's almost morning and I am so awake it hurts.  I don't think I should be blogging this late in the night, I always do the dumbest thing late at night like email people I don't really want to talk with.

What do I even want to be writing?

I don't know.

Well, about this time last night I was on the airplane,  everyone around me was asleep and I am watching some zombie movie on the back of the seat in front of me, of course I scream when one of the rabid zombies jumps out into the screen,  I don't know how loud I screamed but just about everyone in my view jumped out from their slumber, I tried to play cute, shrugged my shoulders, blushed and said my apologies but no one would have it, I was given some of the ugliest crusties known to man, along with "geeshes" and "goshed".  It makes me sad that I can't pull off the cute little girl thing anymore.  

New York. I can't decide if I really even like the city.  I like the smell of nature too much to really trade it for cement and cigaret smoke, I have too much of my farm-raised mom in me to be a true city girl.

I am here to try something new, to put myself out here, to be rejected and ignored.  I am also here to grow.  What a sad life to live to think you are done growing and be content with being content.  I feel hypocritical saying what I just said cause earlier tonight I was watching Wall-e and found myself coveting the lives of the fat-slob humans, being driven around in chairs and having their butts wiped by a machine.  They just ate.  Everyone ate, everyone was fat so it was okay to just eat... anyway, for a few moments I was wanting the ship to just stay in space because it was so easy, and if they went back to earth they were going to have to work really  hard to get things functioning again.  

Something for me to remember...  It's gonna feel like crap being rejected and turned away by these people, it will be hard work, I will be embarrassed at time and have to pretend like my feelings were never hurt.  But it's okay because there will be something to come of it al.  I know this because from the darkest places in my life came the greatest joys.  

yawn.

crickets.

I should go now.  

 

/  by Jessica Peterson

I know I look like the crazy aunt with all these pics of my nephew but oh well... I love the kid and I am going to enjoy the time I have with him, especially before he turns into a grumpy teenager who is much to cool to love his lame aunt.
Thomas the train. He likes choo-choo trains.
Let's all go back to the days when it was the small, inexpensive things that we loved, where we would rather run around exploring everything around us rather than sitting on our butts eating fast food and working hard to ignore how amazing things really can be. Let's do it! Come on, let's forget about the crap economy (who needs that new car), let's sell our couches and dining tables and have indoor picnics every evening, let's make home-made butter out of cream and spread it on home-made bread and be satisfied even though it is not a big juicy hamburger. Let's find reasons to be happy, still take care of things, but not let the hard times effect us so much. Why waist this time.... I hope I can take my own advice.

"goggie"
I love the way he loves his stuffed animals. He kisses them all the time. We just picked up this doggie and he wouldn't let it out of his sight.

Max and I at the park.

I will admit, Tucson has grown on me. In fact I have a love for it now. Everyday I brough Max and/or Jimmy to the near by park and it felt so nice to be in the sun. I felt better there in that park than I have felt in months. Maybe when I die and go to Heaven it will be one gigantic park with beautiful trees to sit under, my own personal diet coke fountain, a variety of cookies always at my side, a pen and notebook, and loved ones are always visiting my park. Let's hope.

/  by Jessica Peterson

The night before I left Salime and I made a little house for Jimmy's doggies. We played forever knocking on the box until he swung the flap open and we would act surprised , even after the 15th time. When Jim came home we Jimmy jumped out of the box to surprise him and then he wanted Jim to go inside.

I thought this was so cute.
Me and Jimmy.

/  by Jessica Peterson



Bisbee.

A strange place where Jim and I traveled to so he could buy dinosaur tattoo equipment off of a dinosaur hippie.

We went to the man's home to get the equipment and while Jim was outside checking the equipment I was wrangled inside their home by the man's sister. I love being able to take a gander into these stranger's home. The woman keep me prisoner to her never ending stories about the color of her families cabin and the time she lived in Idaho when she lived amongst the strange Mormons. I sat for an hour 1/2 listening to her stories and though I didn't care much for her stories I found myself genuinely smiling because she was so frank and open, it was a breath of fresh air, she her raw self with a perfect stranger.



I highly recommend visiting Bisbee.
Especially if you have a dog or like pot.

Rogue Tattoo is the place to be /  by Jessica Peterson

Jimmy just opened a tattoo shop, so if you are in the Tucson area and want a rad tattoo go to him.


This is Jimmy making eyeballs on some dudes feet.
These are my first tattoos. I did pretty good if I might say so. I like the Oli heart best.

Markus makes Tattoos too.



Oh yeah...
If you are in the area in the next few weeks Hank Williams III will be playing a show at the shop. Go, but don't forget your shot guns, beers and cowboy boots.

Driving /  by Jessica Peterson

Last week I decided to go to Tucson to visit my brother and his family. I brought Max with me, I figured he would enjoy the desert. We left early in the morning and 1 Arby's sanwhich and 5 restroom stops later we were in 65 degree weather. What an amazing thing to be in the middle of a snowstorm when you get into a car and when you get out it sunny and warm.

The drive was long... 14 hours long. I was happy to have Max with me, it was nice to just have another warm body in the car to keep me company.






4 to 25 /  by Jessica Peterson

4 more days until my 25th birthday. Crazy.
This morning on my drive to lunch with Brea and Sarah I sat thinking about my life and where I am and how close I am to the path I thought up for myself at earlier ages...

Here they are

Jessica's Plans at age 5: Grow up, marry Prince Erik (from the Little Mermaid) and have a blond haired daughter names Melissa. Become famous painter, actress, singer and own an entire ranch full of My Little Pony's.

Jessica's Plan at age 15: Marry my college sweetheart at age 20-21. Have first child at 23 and another child every two years from then on until I could fill a suburban to the brim. Be a famous painter and live in a white house with purple flowers in the garden.

Jessica's Plan at age 25: Have successful career as a photographer, marry when the time is right and one day have a kid or two. Be happy even if non of the above happens.

It's funny how things end up, I am happy that I am nowhere near where I wanted to be as a 5 or 15 year old. If I got what I wanted I would now be an awful actress, a very unsuccessful singer with a ranch of imaginary ponies, married to some cartoon man and raising a bunch of kids I am not ready for...

I am content here and now.

All I want for my birthday is a really really yummy cupcake... and maybe a dollar for a diet coke.